Mountain View, CA - "I'll be honest with you - I'm mad as hell," shouted G. Larry Tarter, CFO of Silicon Valley e-tailor Compuclick moments before scratching his fingernails down the length of an oversized chalkboard in the company's executive conference room. "These cost cutting Avaya applications are the single biggest threat to our long term survivability."

Basking Ridge, NJ - In a brash departure from company policy, software giant Avaya confirmed Wednesday that it had granted Sainthood to Quagga's legendary Chief Technology Officer Nick Kolintzas.

Pasadena CA - "This is a rhapsodic moment for me!" Craig Schneider, 37, exclaimed to 64 million viewers Tuesday night at the 2008 Wordies. "I've ideated this moment since Language Camp back in nineteen hundred and seventy five."